It is really hard to let go of the feelings you always had to treat someone as an ordinary person when in fact, they are special. To move on your own with an empty heart. To smile even if you are in pain deep inside. To let go of the person you wanted to be with forever. To accept the reality that we are never meant to be together. To give up everything even if you still wanted to try.
Even though I have “stopped” liking you, I can’t help but stop when I hear your name. I can’t help turning my head to the direction of that voice. And when I’m alone, your name keeps resounding in my head. Just then, I would always think of the things that we could have had, of all the things that could have happened, and all of the things that hadn’t.
I guess, I have never really stopped liking you, I just pretended I did. By doing so, I thought the pain of losing you will fade away. But I was wrong. It is just getting worse each day. But, what choice do I have? I just have to face each day on with the hope that one day, I’ll be okay.
Author’s Note: This doesn’t necessarily reflect how I feel at the moment. I may be speaking in the past as this was taken from my death notebook (wherein I keep old literary (more like diary entries) works of mine).
It’s you that I could never live without
Your everything, the air that I breathe
Stupid not to know it all along
That everything I ever did was wrong
Sadly it’s too late for sorry
Cause it’s 12:51 and I thought my feelings were gone
But I’m lying on my bed thinking of you again
And the moon shines so bright but I gotta dry these tears tonight
Cause you’re moving on and I’m not that strong to hold on any longer
At sana nga mawala na yung lecheng love and care na yan. Nakakasakit lang ng damdamin eh. Punyeta. Isang text lang na magkasama kayo ni ano, naiiyak na ako. Takte. Pa’no pa kaya kung nakita ko? Shet. MOVE ON Mel! MOVE THE FUCKING ON.
